It has been 9 months since my husband passed away and I feel like I need to start moving on and try to be happy again but I have such a conflict within myself that I cannot figure out what I should be doing. How am I supposed to move on? Should I actually be ready to move on? How should I be feeling after 9 months? Should I be happy? Most times I am just going through the motions. Have I grieved enough for Chris? Should I be doing something more? Am I such a bad wife that I want to be happy again? Can I be happy again? Am I forcing myself into things because that is what I think other people think I should be doing? I am very lonely without him and actually think I want to find love again or at least someone to share things with. But do I really want that right now? Nobody can tell me the real answers and that bothers me. What am I supposed to do? I feel like I am wasting my life every day by getting up and going to work and going home and doing nothing. I just dont feel like doing anything anymore. I lost contact with most my friends after I got married and had a family. Chris's friends have stopped calling. It is very quiet around the house. It is just my daughter and me and maybe that is all I really need but soon she will be too active in her own life and wont be around. Then what do I do? How do I pick up the pieces?
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