After 15 days of no contact with my ex. I answered my phone at work and there he was...asking me to come see him so he could tell me in person why he has been so secretive and absent. He said that he finally understands just how much he has hurt me and how badly he has treated me. He had been spending time/seeing a woman who was exactly him...a narc to the core, this woman treated him like he didn't matter, said things to him that he said to me and now he claims that his eyes are open. He claims to love me, that he couldn't stand how he felt when this woman did to him what he has done to me for years and how he couldn't believe I put up with for as long as I did. He said that he tried to see how long he could take it and now he knows. And now I feel horrible. I still love him (as sick as that makes me) and I wonder how I'm going to be able to do this. I should be happy and bouncing off the walls that he loves me, wants to marry me, wants to be me with me forever right? Wrong. My heart is so numbed by everything that I have experienced, I phyically cannot feel happy right now. Mentally, I'm just a complete mess. One side of my head is trying to make sense of it, trying to rationalize...the other is screaming to run for the hills. It shouldn't be this hard. Help me.
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