Well girls, I haven't posted anything in a while, probably because a) I"m back to work now and that ties up my days (b) I fell off the wagon and walked right into the lion's den. All those emails and texts I sent the ex when I was at my saddest and lonliest telling him I missed him and was still in love with him really had no effect on him, until he obviously broke up with his latest b*tch (isn't that bad to call another woman that)? Anyway, he calls me Monday asking for a favor. God only knows why I did it (wanted me to follow him in his car to return a friend's rental car). Later that night, we're in bed together. Now, he's back to sending me his texts filled with accusations and lies, tons and tons of lies. I asked him today, "Why lie? We're divorced so what does it matter now?" Things seem to have fallen right back into place and it's not a healthy place for me. I don't even know if I'm really that upset with myself. It feels different now that I know what he is, what he's about, and that we're divorced and at any time I can remind him of that. Also, I have no expectations. I know he's not husband material, step father materikal, isn't even father material sometimes. My expectations are zero. I know he doesn't love me and I also know he's just using me for sex. I don't even know if I really mind it. Sure it'll bite me in the ass later, right?
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