
Women who Love too Much Community Group
WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.

deleted_user
The tools of this website are encouraging. I've set a goal not to contact him for two weeks starting last Saturday. No IM, no email, no asking for help from him at work. If I need something he provides, I'll get someone else to ask him and I'll get out of the area while he is there. I won't go into any rooms with him in it if I can help it. And if I do run into him in the halls, I'll smile, nod and keep going.
Okay, this all sounds great but I'm scared I won't be able to do it. I want so badly for his acknowledgment, validation, approval.
I'm going to keep an honest journal on this site and hope that by making it public, some part of me will be resonsible to any others reading this. Right now the first week shouldn't be too difficult as I'm away from the office at a conference. Sadly, there is a part of my fantasy life that would like to imagion that he will even notice, and if he does notice, care. In reality I don't think that is a possibility but I want to believe it is.
Okay, this all sounds great but I'm scared I won't be able to do it. I want so badly for his acknowledgment, validation, approval.
I'm going to keep an honest journal on this site and hope that by making it public, some part of me will be resonsible to any others reading this. Right now the first week shouldn't be too difficult as I'm away from the office at a conference. Sadly, there is a part of my fantasy life that would like to imagion that he will even notice, and if he does notice, care. In reality I don't think that is a possibility but I want to believe it is.

deleted_user
Melody, it sounds to me like you are taking some real steps in your personal recovery! You recognize that you need to hold yourself accountable, and that's awesome- any way you have to do it, do it! Just remember that if you don't meet your goal, for whatever reason, that's no reason to beat yourself up or to keep yourself from setting that goal all over again. As they say in 12-step programs, take it one day at a time. Just for today, you won't contact him. Even for this minute, for this HOUR, if you have to break it down that far. Because the only way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time!

AgentSmith
Good for you! Sounds like you work in the same building? That's my situation as well! It's horrible! I work in a high rise with 4000 ppl and he works in my building as well but on another floor. I used to see him a lot in the cafeteria but I saw him about a couple months ago there w/ another woman (3 wks after we slept together on his bday) and I haven't gone back to the cafeteria since (except very quickly in the morn to get coffee). I avoid all neutral areas of the building so I won't see him. Like you, I set up a goal (actually 2) about him. I have managed to have no contact with him for 85 days now! It is possible!! Take it one day at a time. Since I avoid the cafeteria, I haven't seen him in the building since before xmas. That has helped a lot. It means I have to pack a lunch now (which I hate) but that's the price I pay for dating someone in the building. It's not easy. It took me a few tries before I managed to stay away for good. I had very intense withdrawals and lost 15 lbs in a matter of a couple weeks. But I pulled through and feel soooo much better now. Good luck. This is a great place to vent.
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