Well....its been 8 days since I got off the roller coaster and I feel so proud and strong. Don't get me wrong its been hard especially since he calls my home phone and leaves messages, emails, facebooks, sends cards in the mail and even texts my mom, but I just ignore it all and move on. It was a tough weekend because we had a trip planned to Disneyland, me the ex and my mom and of course he didn't go and I thought about that all weekend. It was non-refundable so my aunt went instead and I forced myself to have fun. Had a few panic moments but I worked through them. I just feel so strongly that I didn't deserve all the emotional abuse and all the lies and broken promises. I deserve someone who will love me for who I am and be honest, loyal and treat me the way anyone deserves to be treated. Why I allowed this to go on for a year and a half is beyond me. I knew it wasn't right all along and I would even tell myself...."that was so co-dependent"! But still I went back for more all the time and really wanted to believe it was going to be different this time! Anyways thanks to all here who have helped me get as far as I have and been so supportive when I wanted to give in and I would come here instead and read, read, read! I made a list of all the things I would like to have in a partner and I tell myself that someday I will find that man or he will find me and to never give up hope for what GOD has in store for me in the future. Even though I am 53yrs old I know my life is going to be good again and I will be happy from here on out with whatever comes my way be it single or with someone new.
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