I didn't cry for a few weeks since he broke up with me and I found out that there was another woman the entire time we were together. He asked her to marry him the same as he had done with me. I talked with her and that is how we discovered what had been going on. He chose her over me, that's why he broke up with me. I am having a hard time with that even though it is a blessing that he did because I would not have known the truth if he had chose me. She decided to stay with him something I say I can't understand after all the lying but in reality I do understand because had he chosen me I would have stayed with him I am 98% sure of that. So this Sat will be a month since the split and about two weeks since the truth was known. Yesterday I went to an evening church service somewhere I have not been since I was about 12 it was interesting and I am planning on going to Church this Sun. Since yesterday though all I can do is cry. I don't want to waste another thought on this man but I am having trouble fighting the urge to call him. I want him to call me so badly but WHY?? WHY do I want this torture in my life? All my friends say that he will call in few months when something goes south with her and that I will have to be strong and avoid talking to him. I don't think he will call me because I exposed him and his lies. They say that in a few months he will forget all that and want to abuse me some more. I hope and pray that I have the strength to avoid him and tell him that I am worth more. I want to stop crying and caring about him! I desperately want a normal healthy relationship and am willing to do the work to get there but in the meantime what do I do if he does try to get in touch with me where do I find the strength???
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