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Enough as I am
Do you ever notice how being a woman can automatically make you never enough no matter what you do? It is never about what you accomplish it is only about what you haven't done?
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My mother is a 75 year old barbie doll and has the perspective that Oprah isn't good enough because Oprah isn't a size two, regardless of the fact of Oprah's success or all the good she has done for people! In my mother's view looks are everything and nothing else matters, shop, gamble, booze it up, backstab and lie and be lazy but hey, at least do it looking good right?
This is exactly what is wrong with the world today. A woman can be accomplished at peace and a loving mother, but she doesn't meet the mark if she doesn't look like Pamela Anderson. What the???
Does anyone see the double standards at all here? How many men hold themselves or one another to such convoluted standards. All you have to do is drink beer with the guys to measure up, nobody's checking out your booty when you go to take a leak.
I'm not saying I don't cherish being a woman and the beauty of it all, but it's just gotten stupid already.
The women's movement isn't doing enough to free women of this continenet from the bonds of the ridiculous and unachievable and unrealistic. We are free to have careers as long as we look like barbie doing it and act like suzie home maker when we get home and then take a whirl on the stripper pole before we nod off for our six hours before starting over again the next morning at five
my mother says madonna's a slut and i'm not much better because i never married--a rich man. she was looking for the style she wanted to become accustomed to. my male roommate is an ass verbally and can be a bully. this is why i read so much. escapism.
Madonna being a slut or not isn't relevant to how or why your mother would call you a slut itsmylife, as your moniker implies IT IS YOUR LIFE, and how YOU live it is up and to you and ultimately will result in the consequences or rewards of how you decide to live it.
How women treat one another is at the crux of what I beleive is the demise of women's self respect and self love and more importantly SOCIETY'S view of women. How can you love yourself when you call your daughter a slut and want her to only value the money a man makes. Isn't that the same as prostituting ourselves when we pimp ourselves out as nothing more than eye candy to the highest bidder???
Having said that, now that young women are willing to engage in intercourse with their male school mates/friends, why would any guy want to bother getting married or even taking a woman out on a date if all he has to do is look at a girl and she takes her clothes off for him? Don't women realize men don't respect us when we behave this way? Dating used to be romance and fun and playful, not just buying a woman's time for sexual intercourse, just in case anybody misunderstands what I mean by dating.
I call this lowering the bar. How about as women we raise the bar on personal integrity and dignity and start of new era on respect for women in general? How about ending the lack of self respect and placing some worth on ourselves and our bodies once more?
Because men are pigs we should be? Because men lower the bar we should too? Are we that weak? I don't think so? We are the fairer sex not the weaker sex. We raise the bar, men will have no choice but to treat us with respect if they want to spend time with us.
Just a perspective.
i'm better than i was. i used to stay mute but i have learned some painful lessons through the years. i say exactly what i think and feel. and respect? yeah, took me a long time but respect had better be foremost on his mind. no more doormat.
LAVIVRE ... HEAR HEAR !! YOU HAVE JUST SO ELOQUENTLY PUT WHAT I HAVE BEEN SAYING FOR YEARS ABOUT THE SELF-RESPECT WE HAVE LOST AS WOMEN !! DUE TO THE BEHAVIORS SOME WOMEN DIPLAY IN FRONT OF OUR MEN ... WE'VE BECOME SEX TOYS FOR MENS SEXUAL FANTASIES .... JUST PLAY THINGS TO BE USED UP, AND WHEN WORN OUT, TOSSED TO THE SIDE ... MY HUSBAND WAS A PERFECT EXAMPLE LAST WEEKEND OF WHAT PIGGY MEN DO AROUND SEDUCTIVE, CHEAP, BODY FLAUNTING, WOMEN, LOVINGINLY REFERRED TO AS COCK TEASERS .... AND AS A RESULT, I HIT HIM WITH A BASEBALL BAT, AND ALMOST CRACKED HIS SKULL OPEN ... THAT WILL TEACH HIM !!! LET THAT BE A LIFE LESSON FOR MAKING AN ASS OUT OF ME AND HIMSELF ......
Well Pamela looks like Pamela with the help of surgery.
I agree LaVivre, I always hated how news anchormen could be bald and or ugly, but the women had to be Miss America beautiful. I hate that!
Im happy to be a woman. Men seem to like me nomatter what i do. Most womenen can conform to what a man desires and wants. Women can do almost anything there heart desires.
I know men still treat women like how we look determines our value. But it's saddest that so many women buy into this. They only think they value if they look a certain way, weigh less than a certain amount, wear a certain size. They judge and criticze other women incessantly. Judging everyone by this standard of being a 22 year old super model.
Women are often hardest on the women who look beautiful and skinny, precisely because they are so threatened. they have to find a fault. And if someone wants to criticize Oprah because her weight fluxuates, well, that seems like jealousy, too. I mean, if a woman convinces herself than she's better than the most powerful woman in the media and one of the richest women in the country, well that makes her feel better about herself.
I think enough women are inspired by Oprah's journey of rising from being an impoverished young girl raped over and over by a relative who got her pregnant, then having her child die as an infant, and later becoming the voice of compassion and self-empowerment for American women.
It's sad that there are many people out there who judge and attack based on surface appearances and the shallowest values imaginable. But that only reveals the saddness of their existence. They cannot care. They cannot love. They can only see themselves and everyone else for the way their body looks.
Tragic. They miss the beauty of the soul and the power of truly connecting.
It's very unsettling, all the judgement and scrutiny among women. I've been a fat person my entire life, and so I don't know how it feels to be one of the women who can be considered seductive. I used to feel bad about myself because I felt like I was being judged because of my weight and size alone. I'll never have men turn their heads my way, and I've wished that I was born into a different body with the perfect everything. Nowadays, I'm not so sure I'm missing anything all that much better than the life I have in this fat body. I'm happy with who I am, and I'm at a point in my life where I don't really care what the old size 2 ladies think. I don't read all the fashion magazines, and I don't watch the reality tv shows or the entertainment programs. I'm focused on things that nourish my life and keep my healthy in mind and body. It's all I can do.
I Love being a woman too kat13 but why do we have to 'conform' to what a man wants?
Promise keepers is a christian group and while I realize not everyone embraces Christian religion of any kind, bear with me for a moment, because these men really beleive in treating their wives properly, with love, and respect, this men's group seems to be addressing the issues I have so far spoken about and deals with men like Scorp55's helping them to see the tragedy of such lifestyle choices.
itsmylife makes the point, no more doormat! and that is what I'm talking about, we are women, worthy of admiration adoration and respect, not door mats! and should not be used to wipe the dirt off of somebody's boots at the end of the day.
susan speaks about nourishing her life and keeping healthy, which is beautiful, which in turn makes susan beautiful, and someone to adore. But the people who adore such attributes I dare say are lost in the shuffle and noise of the ones tooting their own horns and grabbing ass as they go.
cal8889 says it all, the beauty of the soul and the power of truly connecting, that is the true beauty lies for anyone who desires access to it.
Thank you ladies for your responses. I really appreciate hearing from other women.
Sorry I should have said WHERE the true beauty lies in my cal8889 paragraph.
I think this a real important issue for women of all ages, one that can get us into all sorts of problems no matter our age or status in society.
We can't accept the norm if we are going to improve the situation for our daughters and granddaughters. I don't know about any mothers or grandmothers out there, but I for one would like to see some improvement in the standards of chivalry for men and the treatment of women.
I feel strongly that the american media is criminal in their perspective of women in general and that they need to clean up their act and start treating us women with some respect. We deserve respect, adoration, admiration, love. We don't deserve to be treated like work mules during the day and sex toys at night and maids somewhere inbetween. WE are HUMAN BEINGS with souls and desires and feelings, not just an object for a man's lust. I'd rather have a man's respect than his lust any day, and I'd rather be loved than lusted after.
Thanks for listening.
With age comes wisdom (at least I'd like to think so) and I'm no longer hard on myself. Recently I told a new friend if I could go back to being 25 or even 35 and know what I know now (almost 60) I would be lethal... LOL! The things I would do with grace and humor rather than wasting my time thinking how I don't measure up.
Amen BehaveWell! Why waste any time on worrying about what we are not, that is a black hole of wasted time and energy! I'd rather play mahjong lol!
HEAR !! HEAR !!
I agree so much! You have just put words to what I've been struggling to express, why is it that way? I work a full time job and do all the housework, run two kids around to activities nearly every day and my husband has just told me "I don't do enough"! Makes me want to scream....
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