I was thinking about how isolating it has been to be married to an alcoholic.
We can't ever have friends over in the evenings because I don't know how drunk AH'll be and what inappropriate things he might say to someone (yes, been there, done that). So, very little social life.
I don't feel I can talk openly with any couple-friends about his alcoholism. I've only told a few close, girlfriends. Not being able to talk openly with people sets a divide between me and them.
Even though his behavior is not my shame to bear, I still feel ashamed, which has diminished my self-esteem, so I don't reach out to others.
I've exhausted myself, over the years, trying to fix him, trying to look perfect to outsiders, trying to help and parent the kids alone, that I have very little energy to even do social things like have friends over.
I'm trying to change myself and live the life I want, instead of the life that's left-over from his alcoholism. So, I'm addressing these things, one at a time. I lost myself some place, and now I want to find her. Have you felt isolated being married to your A?