I cannot believe that I am actually on this forum. I never thought it would come to this. When I read some stories on here I feel that I don't have it that bad but it still bothers me that he drinks. Eventhough he is highly functional during the day, when 4 pm hits and he needs to have that vodka and then another one and wine with dinner ...and then goes to bed early. I basically feel that I lose my hubby after 4. He is never violent but he is not present..forgets things I mentioned to him the next day..I feel alone every night. I feel that it's only going to get worse in time and I'm not sure I can handle that. I feel that connectiveness and passion is so vital in a relationship and these things are slowly fading away. Nobody realises that he has a drinking problem because he is so functional and he doesn't get way out of control but when you live with someone, you really notice these things. We have been together for 20 years and he always liked his martini but one has become two and sometimes three along with vino afterwards. I notice a change in him. He is more on edge, less connected, irritable and he has lost muscle mass and eats like crap. We rarely eat the same food and I love cooking. Anyway...it just feels good to right this as it allows me to vent and I feel that maybe some of you can relate. Thanks for being here and reading my story. Please share yours too. Maybe we can be here for one another.