Hello, everyone! I'm 24, and my alcoholic husband is 26. We have been married for 2 1/2 years- no children. We have actually been separated for the past 6 months. He started drinking when he was 15. He started drinking everyday when he was 21, after he found his alcoholic, diabetic father dead. He averaged out at about 1-3 pints a day. His health is declining. He was hospitalized for 5 days this past Aug. with pancreatitis, infected gallbladder, and a fatty liver. I gave him an ultimatum, and he promised he would stop. He didn't keep that promise, so I came to my parents. The last 6 months have been a whirlwind of fights, broken promises, two stints in detox but no rehab, 3 withdrawal seizures, and just all of the other craziness that comes with the disease. I hate it. I love him, but hate the alcohol, and he has made it clear that he does not want to seek help right now. He told me he knows he needs to quit, but he thinks he can do it on his own. Wean himself off. He has no intentions of quitting, he isn't fooling me. He also isn't succeeding in weaning himself off either. For the past 2 weeks he has been faking withdrawals... Seriously. He'll be drunk and then try to act like he is having withdrawals to make me think that he isn't drunk. It's sad, really. About 2 months ago, he lashed out at me pretty badly, and actually threw some things at me. It was the first time he has ever been physical with me. He called me horrible names, and said he hated me. I was fully planning on divorce, but then he called apologizing, promising me all the wonderful things he always does. I caved. For some reason, I worry about his feelings and stuff mine aside. I don't want to hurt him, even though he hurts me all the time. Last night, he got mad at me again, and started cussing and said he wanted a divorce. I still have the feelings of not wanting him to hurt, not wanting to cause him pain or heartache. I love him so much, but I can't take it anymore. I am ready for a divorce, and I am planning on filing when I can save up the money, which will be a while. It's nice to find support groups though! Thank you for letting me share a bit of my life!
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