Well, today is the 3 month anniversary since my husband passed away. I find myself wanting to call his cell more now. I'll hear a song on the radio and be like "oh Lou will like this let me call him" then I remember Lou WOULD HAVE liked it and I can't call him. I often misplace things and think "I'll ask Lou where it is" but I can't. Or I'll need advice like what to do about our dog who was just diagnosed with congestive heart failure. I would talk to Lou but again I can't. My neice played a voicemail for me that she saved of my husband. It was no special message just him asking her to pick something up on her way over. Well I lost it. It really clicked that I will never hear his voice again. God I miss him so much. I'd give anything just to be able to argue again. :) Lou's relatives say that he's come to them, why won't he come to me. I want to see him. I want to talk to him. I am getting more and more upset as time goes on. I have been having breakdowns as bad as when it first happened. I'm just so disappointed in life and often wonder what really is the point of it all. If my heart stopped 2nite in my sleep, I'd be fine with it because it was already crushed to pieces 3 months ago
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