As you all know Gary passed away on Father's Day 2008. At the same time my husband was diagnosed, Our best friend was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. Gary & I ,and Michael & Mj have been best friends for over 30 years. MJ "s health is deterorating very quickly as Breast cancer is only one of many medical issues. We have helped each other thru all of our lives bumpy roadsover the past 30 years. Michael and I have always been the best of friends and do have a very strong emotional connection and we always have. Michael is now trying to deal with the realaity that he is slowly losing his wife and watching this is very scary. I remember the 13 weeks of hell watching Gary slip away knowing that it was happening and being horrified by what I was watching. We are know doing this all over again as we watch MJ slip away from us. It has only been 8 months since Gary passed and between my grieving for my husband and watching them both suffer one physicaly and the other emotionaly. We have become even more emotionaly attached to each other.As we have talked about the years that have past and the things we endured together, and those honest truths that many never speak about.We are also being pulled by the physical attraction that has developed,but honestly has always been, however we are not willing to act on this just beacause of our emotions about our spouses. We have talked about what the future may hold for us. I'm not sure if I should even be asking you folks about this, however I am looking for feedback. I know that we can not act on theses feelings, for I would not be able to live with myself and I know He would not be able to live with himself either. I know he will need time as well. I am still working thru this greiving processes by the way it sucks!!! And I know that his has started by watching her slip away. I see that same look of desperation that I had as I watched Gary. I am trying just to take baby steps thru this mess and know the loneliness is driving me mad.I have never spent a day alone since iwas 15 ,I also know I will not get involved in the dating scene ever. Is it wrong to look ahead to the future?
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