Ok,you all know I dont post very often. I woke this morning, feeling lonely, alone, and just beside myself. I think since the one year anniversary is coming up march 1st, that I'm feeling that "1 year anniiversary" dread. Just so hard somedays to wrap my mind around the fact that, he is infintely not coming back, and that if I want any type of compaionshiop; another words a person of the opposite sex, to go do things with, talk to, and enjoy some going and doing things with, that I will have to step out of my comfort zone, realize that NO one will ever compare to sean, no one will come close to meeting my expectations of my sean. So Ive decided to give it all to the glory, and will of god. sorry for those of you with a different faith, you know I love you all, but I have to be honest with myself and others. So my worry, anxiety, curiouslty, loneliness, and my unfortunate, question, of "what the heck now", questions. are no longer in my hands. I hope everyone is doing better than when they first joined, I know that I am much better. If it not for all of my friends here, I might be one of those associated with 50 cats, etc.. lol. Thank you for letting me vent. is it normal that I miss having someone of the oppositte sex, to joke with, hold hands with, talk with, and have to give me all those wonderful things that a woman friend cant give? I know Im not going crazy, Im just lost as to what sean wouldve wanted me to do? Do you think he would be upset that I miss him, his companionship, and am thinking about wanting to have someone to talk to, other than a gal friend? Just am so sad, and feeling guilty about wanting to possibly have someone in my life, to fill in, since sean isnt here anymore? Not a replacement, because NO ONE, and I mean NO ONE will ever come close to my sean... Just curious with others opinons. I need all he positivty I can get. I am not desperate, dont care about the sex, and dont need anyone finanicially. I'm just a people person, and have always considered myself a family woman. Please if I have offended anyone, I apoligize in advance. Love always to everyone, and thank you for letting me just vent.. carla
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