I am at a loss to understand the thinking of some young people. To be clear, this particular daughter (our youngest) has been a bit of a heartache since she married the man she is married to now more than 11 years ago. He's controlling, manipulative, abusive (physically and mentally and emotionally), and he's had multiple affairs. She has left him twice, filed for divorce both times and then turned around and went right back to him. They are now expecting their 4th child. Her dad and I have spent countless hours, shed many tears, spent lots of money, just trying to help when we could. They are not uneducated people, she's an RN and he's in law enforcement. He doesn't like her to be around her family at all. I can't count the number of times they have suddenly cut us off or decided that we did something wrong so wouldn't have anything to do with us. At the funeral and the few days afterwards that she was here she seemed sad and I thought maybe it dawned on her how much she missed by alienating herself from us, especiallly her daddy, she was such a daddy's girl growing up and then she and I were very very close when she was a teen, went everywhere together. So now, he's been gone 7 months and I've decided it's time to spread his ashes as we promised him we would. I gave all four of the kids the option of being here if they wanted. Three of the four said absolutely, they wanted to be here, she on the other hand would not respond at all. Her husband finally sent me a text telling me I needed to stop sending "upsetting and disruptive" messages to them and that I needed to stop interfering in their lives and they did not "have time" for this. I am baffled to say the least by this latest idiocy. I am not sure how letting her know I would be spreading her dad's ashes is "disruptive" or "upsetting" or how that constitutes me "interfering" in their lives and just what they don't have time for????? This hurts so badly right now especially. This is something I need to do for me and for Steve--I promised him I would. This isn't about them and there was nothing malicious or hurtful about the message I sent. I just simply wanted to give them the opportunity to be here if they chose. I know the grandkids would be here if they could, they adored their poppy and spent as much time with us as their parents would allow. I will go on and do what I need to do, the other kids will all be here and they all want to be here. I just don't get it. I'm venting I know, thanks for listening, sometimes you just need to spill it out.
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