This pain is sometimes so hard to bare. It's after midnight here, and so it's Monday, and today makes it three weeks since I lost my husband very suddenly of a heart attack. This is the most unbarable pain I have ever felt in my life. The worst part is at night. I had an awful day today; a cry fest. I was watching a baseball game on nesn classics, and I remembered that Mike and I watched it together, and I had to change the channel because it was just too painful...and that started the tears flowing. It's funny, everybody says to hold onto the memories and they will bring me comfort and all that stuff. But all some of the memories do is make me angry because I know that I will never be able to do those things with him ever again. I guess he's here in spirit and watching over me and stuff, but right now, that doesn't seem to be enough. It's just not fair....so unfair...
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