Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Death & Dying
/ Widows & Widowers Support Group

Trying to find myself...

deleted_user
deleted_user
Lately I've been doing a lot of soul searching ( so cliche, I know ). I don't know who I am without Rob. I met him when I was 19 and in 6 years we got married, bought a house, and had 2 children. i quit my job to be a stay at home mom for the past 5 years.

I am only 26 years old. God willing I have a lot of life left to live. I do not want the new me to be traumatized, hurt, scared, and angry for the rest of my life. I realize it's important to grieve in front of my kids but they are 5 and 2, they also need some silliness, fun, and laughter too. I guess I just miss being happy.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I understand. I don't have children but feel traumatized, hurt, scared, and angry about many other things in my life. You are very young and have so much going for you. Please don't give up, In hind site, when I lost my fiancee, I wish I would have gone into counseling. Do that not only for your children, but for you too. You deserve to work through this or it will haunt you for MANY years and will also effect your children's lives too.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am 32 and lost my husband at 29 from a brain tumor. I also have little children ages 9 and 8. I was with my husband since age 15, so I know how you feel. I have been through so much aleady and am so young, I feel like what is my purpose here too?? I have decided that my children are the reason I am here. My husband said the simplist thing to me before he died.. He said that he had the easy part in dying, I had the hard part of picking up the pieces and going on.. What a smart man. I would have traded places with him in a heartbeat, but now I look at my children and realize that they are my reason..
PS I sometimes still fake being happy in front of the kids and save my crying for when I journal at night before I go to bed..
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