Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Death & Dying
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Trying to find myself...

deleted_user
deleted_user
Lately I've been doing a lot of soul searching ( so cliche, I know ). I don't know who I am without Rob. I met him when I was 19 and in 6 years we got married, bought a house, and had 2 children. i quit my job to be a stay at home mom for the past 5 years.

I am only 26 years old. God willing I have a lot of life left to live. I do not want the new me to be traumatized, hurt, scared, and angry for the rest of my life. I realize it's important to grieve in front of my kids but they are 5 and 2, they also need some silliness, fun, and laughter too. I guess I just miss being happy.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You and me both girl! I'm 24 with a 2 month old son, a house and a dog! I was so happy with Josh and I miss that sooooo much!! He took his life after his brother died and he felt so much guilt he lost his mind. We had an amazing relationship and life together, I was 8 months pregnant and we were both thrilled! so I can't help but wonder why weren't we enough to keep him going? I miss being happy too, but I try really hard to be optimistic for a better day!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I so know this feeling. Jon died 3/06 and I have been on my own since. I have gotten a little too comfortable, but still feel like somethings missing.. It's hard to get out and meet people all the while trying to figure out who I am now and what my "new" needs are... I could go on and on about this, so I will stop here :) STAY STRONG :) ((HUG))
deleted_user
deleted_user
Your identity is tied to his. You were a wife and are a mother to his child. You shared everything daily. That was me for 24 years. Now I'm alone and don't know how to behave as a single person.

Yes, your children need to see you grieve, but they are young and also need to see that you are strong for them. It's hard, but you can accomplish both. You can give them the silliness, fun and laughter they need and still grieve.
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