The tears still flow, along with the longing for him to return to me. I was just thinking when I got home from work yesterday and saw his cane by the door why haven’t I gotten rid of that (I haven’t gotten rid of any of his things) or at least moved it? It just hit me-he’ll need it when he comes back and I began to cry walking past the cane into the empty house. Are these things triggers for more pain? Or a sign of reality continuing to set in? Is it better to be rid of his things? I have felt comfort having his things still around me but this kinda threw me back. Actually until that moment yesterday I hadn’t even really noticed it there. Weird that I did then & why? I’m always questioning my thoughts and asking why things happen? Why I think things when I do. Anyone else do this? I think I’m going nuts!
As some of you know I moved to a new city 2 months ago where I only know my dgt and her fiance. I left a place I had many friends and family. As I attempt to adjust to the move I feel stuck. I kind of know the steps I must take to rebuild but my energy for tackling it has been lacking. The last time I felt like this was after I lost my wife. At that time I spent stuck for 2 years...
I am days away from a half year from losing my dear Tom. While I know from reading posts to not be surprised that it could takes years to get back on my feet, I am very discouraged right now that I don't seem to have made any progress at all.I am incredibly lonesome and have no clue as to why I am still on this earth.