Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
I will try to keep this simple. I lost my husband a little over a year ago. I started seeing an old friend, that I met before I married my late husband. We have been seeing each other for about 8 months,now all he seems to want is to hold me, touch me, kiss me, and of course have sex. I am not ready to give us my memory of my husband, to take the next step to give myself to another man. Am I a prude, should I give in and give this old friend what he wants? I just want friendship, companionship, not really interested in a sexual relationship. Is it possible to just be friends? I avoid seeing him, because of how he feels. We dated for about 8 years before I broke up with him, that is when I met my husband. I still love my husband, and want to be with him when I die. Is it possible to move on and not feel guilty? I need your input. Please help me...Lilly
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
It sounds to me like you truly want to remain merely friends with this guy. It also sounds like he's simply looking for the, um, physical benefits of being with you. Of course, I don't know him, so that might not be true. I say lay it on the line. Tell him honestly how you feel and if he respects you, he will be willing to keep the friendship. Just my two cents.
It sounds like you are not really ready to be totally intimate with someone right now. Do not rush into it if you are not there. If this man really cared then he would understand where you are coming from. You do not want to rush into anything and then regret it later. You need to be 100% ready, nad when you are you will know.
I'm only 18 months into this journey called widowhood but I know that I'm following one strict rule. It it doesn't feel right, STOP. I'm not on anyone's timeline for healing. I know that right now I would not be ready for any type of intimacy with a man! If it feels right for YOU (NOT HIM!) then it's the right time. If he doesn't understand then it's back to High School 101: He needs to grow up.
You answered your own question "I just want friendship, companionship, not really interested in a sexual relationship." I think that you can love your husband,and when YOU are ready you can do and have everything else. Moving on and not feeling guilty is the path to healing.