okay did the first social outing since my husbands funeral i wouldn't have missed watching a friend's daughter get married knew the reception could feel wierd but i should be able to suck it up and manage- right? a couple of extra deep breaths in the parkinglot and a return to the car for a lipstick check and obviously one last stall the ceremony was beautiful had a few tears when the father walked the bride down the aisle and the stroll to the unknown: with whom am i sitting? no way will they have been able to re-do the seating chart/card and take off my husbands name--no matter this bride is awesome and she has grouped me with incredible people:) so i go to the bar not unusual i have for years been the one to retrieve the drinks for both of us -- then i have my first eeewww gross yuck oh not today moment--and it hits me gross single woman at the bar no-no widowed woman standing alone at the bar ordering just one drink-- now grosser approached by probably kind innocent man initiating simple social overture basic weather talk. guess what this is too weird i'm in a movie right my life has been absurd it still is and should just keep watching it i'll jump in again soon.