My strength sure is being tested these days. My husband died suddenly two month ago now my Dad is probably in the last stage of his life due to renal failure. He has been battling cancer for four years now and several days ago he may have had a stroke and is dying from renal failure. We have been prepared for Dad's inevitable death so it won't be devastating like my husband's sudden death but I since my dad was admitted to the hospice to die a few days ago I have moments when I wonder if I can take all of the grief. My father really "died" about a year ago when he stopped trying to fight the cancer and has been living with constant pain and fatigue and basically has not really wanted to do very much of anything. Now he can't even put a sentence together and you can see he's frustrated. He has a degree in Chemical engineering was a Patent Agent for over 30 years and was never sick a day in his life until the cancer was diagnosed 4 years ago. Now he doesn't want to eat or drink much, he's so drugged up with painkillers and other medications that he isn't really all here most of the time that his last days are going to be awful. The doctor can't even predict how much longer this will go on because his heart and lungs are working fine. It would be awful for all involved if he would have to be in this state too long because it's not a very nice end to a great life. I will be sad when he goes but it's his time now. He's 76 and is in pain and I'm sure is ready to go. Anyway I have to continue to be strong because I need to be here for my son. My faith will carry me through I am confident of that.
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