Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

3,606 Members
19,416 Posts
0 Online
Death & Dying
/ Widows & Widowers Support Group

My Husband

deleted_user
deleted_user
My Husband just passed away last Thursday after a 8 month battle with Pancreatic Cancer. We just had a baby 3 1/2 months ago after trying for 5 years to get pregnant. I also have a 8 year old step son who lives with me for the school year. I feel like I am so busy planning his funeral to mourn. I feel as if he is still in the hospital or he is at home in bed sick like he had been for so long. He died in our bed while on hospice care for less than a week.
I know it will all hit me soon. My life has been taking care of him since April and now I am afraid I will not be able to handle not having him to take care of. But in the meantime I just feel numb. Luckily I have a great support system to help me with the baby because I do not think I could handle him right now.

I know everyone says it gets easier and time heals but it is so hard to imagine raising my son whom we longed for so bad for so long all by myself. I am 33 years old and a widow I never in my wildest dreams or nightmares ever thought this would happen to me.
I just thought I would share!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Neither did I, I waited a long time to marry my husband. After 10 short years together he is gone and I am devastated. I was at the hospital every day sometimes 2-3 everyday.I watched this big, vibrant man waste away before my eyes for 4 months. When he passed, I still found myself looking at the clock to see how long I had to get to see him. I can't promise it will get easier, but it does, not right away. You need to be good to yourself. You have a new baby and stepson who need you. I'm glad you have such a good support system to help you get through this. I'm so sorry for your loss and will keep you in my prayers.
JFerrante
JFerrante
I greatly sympathize with your situation and loss.

I lost my partner suddenly last May and I hate to say, it has gotten worse for me emotionally, not better.

In my case, it has been hard to gather support for me since his family is unsupportive and mine is distant. Although I've never been without a boyfriend, I've never felt as alone as now :(

James
deleted_user
deleted_user
My heart goes out to you at this very sad time.This is so recent for you and even though you knew how poorly your hubby was it is still a great shock.My hubby died with pancreatic cancer in May he too was in hospice care at home and died in my arms.I am at least that much older, you are so young but hang on to that much wanted baby also the stepson and allow yourself time to grieve .I am so glad you have people around you to help.My prayers are with you Jenx
deleted_user
deleted_user
Sorry for your loss. This is a most difficult time to lose someone. Hope you make the time to take care of yourself after the commotion dies down. It is so easy to get caught up in the life of your children. You will do good. Your husband is still with you in spirit and will watch over you. Most important is to make the time for yourself as much as you can. Enjoy those quiet moments. You will miss your hubby but you will find the peace in knowing that he is no longer suffering. That is how I feel. You have a great life ahead. These hard days will end and you will find the joy in life again. Smile often with your kids. They are only young once and too quickly out. The kids will help you in your grief.
Hugs, Becky
deleted_user
deleted_user
Well I made it through his service on Friday. I thought it was going to be way worse than it was. I think I was just so busy making sure it was perfect it did not hit me that this was Paul's funeral. We had over 300 people there so as you can imagine it was very overwhelming. It was amazing to me how many people showed up. I knew Paul and I knew alot of people but to see everyone in one room was awesome. Now to pick up the pieces. Paul's best friend is bringing over a christmas tree for us. It has been hard thinking about decorating it with our ornaments without Paul. I do know it has be done for the boys. They still need a Christmas. I just told my stepson that this is going to be hard for me to decorate without your dad and he told me it would be ok and that I had him to help and be there with me.
deleted_user
deleted_user
it is so difficult, such early days and there are different stages, in and out, down and up. You will have good days but you will also have very bad ones for a long time, but time will pass and you will slowly feel better...thank goodness for your children, they will help you heal...I am so sorry this has happened...my love to you....Cathrynn X
deleted_user
deleted_user
Sounds like you are doing well in working through the holiday. It is tough but your kids are helping you more than you can imagine. Hope you remember to take care of yourself..take time for yourself.
Hugs,
Becky
deleted_user
deleted_user
I do know how you feel! I lost my boyfriend 4 months ago and had our baby 2 months ago! He was so excited to be a dad since we had a miscarriage 4 years ago! I know EXACTLY what you're going through!!! It hasn't gotten easier for me yet but I try to stay optimistic as you should too! Please keep in touch!
Posts You May Be Interested In
  • irishwriter

    come unwind in the bp lounge

    Posted by: irishwriter
    Last Reply: kisses2016
    7992
    theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
  • Rizen

    Walk a Day

    Posted by: Rizen
    Last Reply: Rizen
    2571
    I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...