New to this website.........my husband died in Jan. 2008 and that was really hard for me. We went to the Dr. office Dec 3rd.....and then straight to the hospital.....CHF. He died Jan 23, 2008. in that short time we were in/out of the heart hospital 4 times. The last visit MRSA set in and started shuttting everything down. We were not home 24 hrs when he passed away with Hospice. The pain was unbearable. He and I had been together for 16 years and married for almost 10 years. He was truly my soulmate. My family and friends were a tremendous help but after a while everyone gets on with their life and you're left alone. I found comfort going to a Dine Around Group thru Hospice and went to regular meetings during the holidays 2008, which helped me get thru the season. During those meetings I met a gentlemen who also lost his wife in 2008. After exchanging recipes, emails, and him wanting help with his genealogy project, I agreed to help him. During that process of genealogy....we found we had a very lot in common and became close. The relationship was based on friendship, companionship. I was 66 and he was 70......At our ages....it's hard to find someone compatable but we did help each other with our sorrows and comforted each other. When it came time for his wife's 1 year anniversary.....he wanted to let his family and his deceased wife's family know about our relationship. I had not met her family and had met his 2 boys only twice. We had made plans to travel, go fishing, etc. as I had done with my husband but I retired to late to that with him......so, I missed out there. On Aug 24th I tried calling my friend....no answer.....figured he was at a meeting. On Aug 25th .....I knew he had an early Dr. apt. I tried calling him to check on him.........still after no answer. I immediately drove to his house only to find him DEAD!!! .......This was the most"horrible" experience I have ever had. I had to call his sons to tell them to come right away.......It has been a nightmare since then. I had to go to individual counseling, going back to Hospice support group meetings and had to call the dr. for meds. I have no courage to do anything. Some days I feel like a zombie. I have to be careful when I'm in the car and make sure I'm concentrating on what I'm doing. Has ANYONE every gone thru this same experience? I feel there is no closure with my last friend. I was able to have closure with my husband.......but I feel guilty that MAYBE I could have done something for my friend..........please advise!!!
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