I had a dream this morning just before I woke. I dreamed of my husband. I walked up to him, we wrapped our arms around each other and kissed. He pulled back and said "you haven't got to see me in a long time, huh?" I knew he meant that I didn't get to see the real him, the him he was before the stroke changed him into a different person. My alarm went off and I woke up. I have been a mess since. In a few months it will be 2 years since I lost him. He had a stroke 3 months before he passed. Although I had 7 years with him, the real him, all I seem to remember is the time after the stroke. And when I get those reminders of the REAL him, I get knocked back down. I still miss the real him so much. Everytime I show our 2 yr old pictures of his dad when he was really him, I get choked up. I guess today is just a big reminder of what I lost and how much I will always miss him. But oh how wonderful it was to see the real him again, even if it was only a dream.
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