I will understand but I wanted to post my experience in the hopes that it may help someone.
I know some of you are new in your grief and could never imagine dating someone, but at some point, you might consider it.
Depending upon your circumstances, i.e., how long you have been a widow/widower, how long your loved one was sick, etc., it might be a long time since you were last intimate with anyone.
In my case, the cancer had spread to my husband's bones and in the end, I couldn't hold him or even touch him without causing him pain. He was sick for a long time and I was sick, too, so it had been a very long time since I had been held by a man or been intimate.
A few months ago I met someone and we became intimate and I thought I had found the Holy Grail. I realize now that was not the case but it had been so long and I missed that kind of contact with a man so much that I built it up in my head to be much, much more than it really was.
The relationship has ended..............we really weren't meant for each other but I was blinded to that fact for several months. I am sure I am not the first widow to have done this, nor will I be the last.
So, the SO is showing me love, encouragement, um... Even some sex. And I get suspicious.... Self sabotage much?!?!. He is really doing amazing things, he opened his own business, he got custody of his kids, he is losing weight and working out....and what do I do? I start to think about myself, and how fat I am... And how I feel inadequate... Why can't I just be happy for him without panicking...