I witnessed my husband's suicide 11 years ago. It has been a very long and difficult grieving process. I've read a lot of books, done the grief counseling and group therapy. Intellectually I KNOW that I need to let go of the past to open up to the future. BUT, emotionally I still love him. I miss him, I still ache for him. I feel so much guilt and remorse. I've just started dating in NOV. I'm falling for a new guy. I just feel so flipping conflicted, and conflicted just isn't strong enough of a word! I feel torn, like I'm betraying Jeff. And when I cry for my husband I feel a bit hypocrtical coz I really like Tie Dye. He's good for me, makes me feel calmer on the inside(not an easy task!). Does anyone elsr ever feel the same way? Torn, "conflicted", f*cked up??!!!???!!???!
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