I am having a harder time dealing with Mark's death since my Dad died this week. I have been in tears every night after my son goes to bed since then. This afternoon when I was in the basement cleaning the cat's litter boxes I broke down looking at Mark's safety glasses he left hanging on the work bench. Isn't that crazy? They are only safety glasses yet tears started running down my face as I looked at them. It's funny how little reminders of him can set you off. I'm sad about my Dad but it's not the same grief I have for Mark. Dad had been sick for soo long that he really wasn't the same man so I have already grieved for the man Dad was. He was suffering so near the end that what I'm feeling for Dad is a mixture of some sadness but a huge feeling of relief that he is finally at peace and no longer in pain. My grief for Mark hits me way deep in my heart and fills me with so much pain that It feels like I will not get over it sometimes. I will get used to dealing with him being gone in time of course but I don't think I will ever "get over" the suddenness of his death. I will get over my Dad's death because the circumstances of both thier death's are so different. I will have to get through Dad's funeral on Friday and hopefully once that's done I will be able to get my strength back and move on with learning to deal with Mark's absence.
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