I am new here. My husband died July 29 from cancer. We did everything together since we were very young teenagers. We were married 34 years, together 39. We had no interests that we did without each other. I started having panic attacks about 2 weeks ago. Now I am on meds. I can't go shopping so I have someone buy my groceries. I couldn't stay alone so my son has moved in with me. Saturday I completely crashed and my sister stayed with me for 12 hours. I am trying to eat but everything makes me feel sick on the stomach. I am trying to take care of bills but seeing his name on everything sends me into a crying spell. I go to work and everyone says that I am doing good, but I am not getting anything accomplished. My work is piling up. I spend a lot of time talking or thinking. I had to leave the building today just to get air. I get real tight feelings in my chest and feel like I'm going pass out talking to people. I have attended 3 social gatherings since my husband died and cannot handle them at all. My husband's family is planning a surprise birthday party for his mother in two weeks, she also has cancer and is in treatment. How do I handle these things? I am terribly frightened about going, I could feel a panic attack coming on when I was told about it, just writing about it has me feeling short of breath. How do you go on?
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Does anyone know if a better RA forum than this one? I always loved to come here. I would read a lot & post some. Now it's so hard for me to read the posts. I have a laptop & half the screen is taken up by the huge banner at the top. I don't like it. I'm not comfortable with it. I will probably not hang around very long. So sad. :(
A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...