I am trying to except the fact that kyle is never coming back and that at 24 i am a widow and that i will never have one of his kids ever. It is so hard. i thought keeping my self busy going to college full time and doing dance and all that stuff would help me to act like it never happened and now my denial is catching up fast and i am drowning in it and i am thinking of dropping out of college and moving away from every one and starting all over again. Yesterday i wanted to die and just be done with life and be with him in heaven. But knowing that is not what he would want for me at all. I miss him so much and feel like God stoled from me. I want my life back and it wont happen. i dont know how to discribe what i feel very well but i know i need help and dont know what to do, every thing is confusing and frustrating. I just want to curl up in a ball and never move again. help me please.
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