My friend of 17 years lost his wife of 18 years almost 4 years ago. Eight months later, his dad died, and he has had a large number of friends and acquaintences die since then. He and I started dating two months ago. He wanted to jump into the relationship as if we were already husband and wife after just our first date. Then, 4 days later he called, after he had been to a funeral of a friend. He was crying and I talked to him a long time to get him back on his feet. Obviously, the funeral caused him to re-live some issues more painful than the loss of his friend. He told me, two hours into the conversation, that he had originally called to tell me he didn't want to see me anymore because everyone close to him dies and he couldn't deal with the pain again. Then, he said that he changed his mind after talking to me. Anyway, we have forged a relationship that is comfortable to both of us, not too close, but very solid. I can tell that he is still grieving. He doesn't sleep well except when he is at my house. He doesn't eat well except when we eat together. He stays super busy with everything in the world, including his kids. I understand loosing a spouse, but I lost mine to divorce due to my x's infidelity. My widower friend and his family helped me through that tragic time 16 years ago. I want to return the favor, but I just don't know how. I know that he loves me, and I love him. (Although we are both afraid of getting too close, but for differenct reasons). Can someone please tell me what to do or not do? I'm so worried that I am going to say or do something wrong that will add to his grief. And, I want so much to help this deserving man, but I don't know what to do.
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