am such a coward. I talk about moving on and learning to do things and when the opportunity comes I back out. I was at work today and 3 good looking guys from England came in. They needed some help finding some shoes so I did what I could to help them. As I am ringing them up, they tell me how gorgeous i am ( which I think they were either drunk or just needed glasses) and ask if i have a boyfriend. I tell them no. They want to know why. I just shrug (because going into details not really appropriate i think at this point) so before they leave, they tell me that they would love for me to meet them tonight for a drink. They even say bring some friends along. Now we are not talking anything elicite mind you. we are talking about meeting up at a designated place in a group of people and one of them really likes me from what they are saying. I tell them that maybe I will. They tell me they would be disappointed if I don't. So I get home and hem and haw and work myself up into a frenzy. Maybe they were just kidding. What if I got there and they weren't interested in having me join them after all? Why were they interested in me in the first place? I cant do it. I just dont have the balls to go. Besides, I know that it was a line me being gorgeous. I am realistic and I am plain maybe a little above plain at best. But it felt good to have someone tell me I am gorgeous. Let alone 3 guys at once. I just hate that I didn't have the nerve to go and have fun IN A GROUP!!! It wasn't even like I would be going on a date. I just feel so pathetic for not even making the effort to get out there. I am mad at myself and feel stupid. I have no idea how to get past this. I know it has only been 5 months but when does it start to be ok to enjoy myself?
Posts You May Be Interested In
i lost my husband July 5,2018. He passed away after suffering with COPD. I’m so sad. He was the love of my life. Prayers to all of you.
https://www.madinamerica.com/2018/07/professional-delusion/This article touches on the debate between bipolar meds and trusting your psych dr vs seeking alternatives. Theres alot to take away from it, but what stood out to me the most was that theres alot of agreement that there is no such thing as a "chemical imbalance" in your brain? An upset in neurotransmitters are cause for a manic episode,...