My wife Donna and I were married on September 7, 1975 and she died on September 1, 2010. She was a very loving and caring person. She was a CNA that specialized in helping Alzheimer patients. She loved her job so much that she would go to work on her days off and see her patients and take them shopping, to the beauty shops or just to get out for awhile. We never had a fight and we never argued. We had the perfect fairytale life together. We knew that her health was deteriorating fast and that she was terminal but we did not know that it would be so fast. We didn't have time to prepare if we even could have. I have been to see a therapist and that didn't help. My doctor has me on medication and that is at least keeping me from doing something stupid. We had made plans for when we retired and especially for our anniversary that was 6 days after she died and now we will never be able to do the things that we wanted. I miss her so much. At night when I go home I hate walking into the house because she is no longer there to greet me. She loved to go and watch the river rafters here in Colorado all the time and now I don't even want to go to the same places that we did together anymore. We met on a blind date and we hit it off from the very first time that we met. I miss her so much and I can't seem to stop thinking about what we are missing together now. I just want to be with her and to finish our life together. I know we won't be able to but that is all I can think about. We had a daughter and son and our daughter had a little boy that was almost 4 years old when she went away. He is always asking where grandma is. He was her pride and joy. She took him everywhere with her before the last 2 months of her life when she got really bad. I have been to a therapist but that didn't help much. She said that things would get better but it seems as though things are getting worse with each passing day. It hurts so much knowing that I will never be able to hold her or talk to her again. She was my rock and my shelter from any storm. We loved each other unconditionally. How can I even think about going on without her. It just doesn't seem fair.
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