I have been a widow for 8 months now. Read my journal and you will know about my marriage and everything else in my life that I know about to this day. I'm still learning more as it comes out. I hate the holidays as it is. The only holiday I love is Halloween. No one gets together and fights, no one is unhappy because they did not get what they wanted, no one misses anyone on Halloween really. This is my first holiday season without my dad and my husband. My husband use to have me make this great big meal for thanksgiving. This year I didn't make it. We went somewhere. He would have me decorate the house and put the tree up the day after thanksgiving. I haven't even gone to storage yet to get the stuff out. According to my journal I was going to but I must have gotten sidetracked. I really would like to run away somewhere or crawl under a rock and hide until January 4th. January 3rd would have been my husbands birthday. Do you know I bought him a present. I got home took it out of the bag and then I had the thought of why did I do that. After 8 months you would think I would know he is not coming back. Given the abuse I endured for 20 years you would think I would not miss him right.It's such a strange place to be in. To miss someone at the holidays who was not a nice person but I guess its because they were here.Sorry for venting!!
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