I just heard that Patrick Swayze died. My husband, Alan, had the very same diagnosis. It just brought everything back, the terrible terrible end. The whole thing was really the end, now that I look back at it. It was less than 2 months from the first pain to the last breath. All of the horrible feelings are right back here, right in my face. I felt so helpless, I couldn't do anything to save his life, I couldn't alleviate his physical, mental or emotional suffering. I just find myself saying to him "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, so sorry, Alan."
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When I was awake this morning I was thinking of writing a note to thank the people who has helped me in the grief journey. I think this message provided me with the motivation (ie. I don't need this s$%^!).This question is one of the most hurtful question you can ask to a fellow griever. But I can imagine why you are questioning my validity. I'm sorry I don't feel the need to show the death...
So it seems my grief is taking me to some dark places. What if the end of life in this world actually is the end of our consciousness and all aspects of our existence are no more. Our soul does not move on as it too is non-existent. Am I alone in thinking these grim thoughts? Is this part of the grief and mourn continuum.