I just heard that Patrick Swayze died. My husband, Alan, had the very same diagnosis. It just brought everything back, the terrible terrible end. The whole thing was really the end, now that I look back at it. It was less than 2 months from the first pain to the last breath. All of the horrible feelings are right back here, right in my face. I felt so helpless, I couldn't do anything to save his life, I couldn't alleviate his physical, mental or emotional suffering. I just find myself saying to him "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, so sorry, Alan."
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