My friends: I know I've changed emotionally, but I've also changed physically. When Joe was sick, all he could eat were puddings, and a couple of bites of chicken pot pie. I couldn't eat in front of him, and we both lost weight - he went from 185 pounds to probably 125 in 4 months before he died. I went from 125 to 105 in the same time. When I looked at myself in the mirror the months after he died, that is, when I could bear to look at myself in the mirror, what I saw mirrored what he looked like. Scary skinny. I've gained a few back, I cook for myself like I'm cooking for a queen! But although the sad eyes of a widow are still there, I don't know, I'm able to actually laugh, and I'm hoping for the laugh lines to come out in my face; I would love the wrinkles of laughter, and not the grief. I really wonder what people see when they look at me. How have you changed? Hugs, Marsha
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