After losing my husband just 2 weeks ago - I feel like I'm coming out of the shock just now ( all my family have gone back to their homes out of town). I thought that the nights would be difficult - but it's really this time of day - early evening when I get home from work and should be starting to prepare dinner and waiting for Jim to come home. I know I should do something else at this time -but I'm so sick with longing that I can't find the energy to do anything...please someone - tell me this horrible aching feeling goes away - please tell me that someone here has made it to the other side of this pain and loneliness....I can't bear to think of having this feeling every day. Wishing things were back to where they were just weeks ago...wishing he was coming home - wanting so desperately to see his face and hear his voice.....
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When I was awake this morning I was thinking of writing a note to thank the people who has helped me in the grief journey. I think this message provided me with the motivation (ie. I don't need this s$%^!).This question is one of the most hurtful question you can ask to a fellow griever. But I can imagine why you are questioning my validity. I'm sorry I don't feel the need to show the death...
So it seems my grief is taking me to some dark places. What if the end of life in this world actually is the end of our consciousness and all aspects of our existence are no more. Our soul does not move on as it too is non-existent. Am I alone in thinking these grim thoughts? Is this part of the grief and mourn continuum.