I have been dating a widower for a year and a half. He was widowed for 2 years before we met and had begun dating. (Told his children first) I have been divorced and have a child the same age. Yes, his home is still filled with the things of his late wife but I don't mind, they are his things too and I like that he loved her so much. I know how much he cares about me so theres no need to be jealous. He also mentions memories of her occasionally but not in a way that suggests he is comparing us. We both have good careers, own our own homes and good lives. We are a long term committed couple. He is very family oriented. His sister, mother (92!), 26 year old daughter and 25 year old son live 9 hours away. This is where the problem arises. He goes up to see them 5 or 6 times a year. Everyone has been very accepting of me (even the late wife's family) except the daughter. From the first time we met she tried very hard to pretend that I didn't exist. When she couldn't she was polite but cool. To make a long story short, he has asked me to go to all the family gatherings since meeting them after dating for nine months. I felt funny about it but he wants it so much and has a tough time making the drive alone. Well, at the last event, I was terribly behaved and had a semi-public fight with him (due to trying to hard to be perfect when I was sick, exhausted and had fallen down a flight of stairs the day before.) We drove home and worked things out. Now we have just got back from another trip to see them. I apologized to his sister. She was very sweet. I tried to apologize to the daughter but she wouldn't acknowledge my existence the whole day. I feel terrible and I don't know what to do. I want to be sensitive to everyone's pain but I'm human too. I have fibromyalgia and arthritis and these trips are difficult for me to begin with. I don't mind because I love him and he is good and decent. BUT, I don't know how to handle the issue with the daughter. I was so uncomfortable and all I wanted to do was cry. Can anyone advise me? I want to be fair and kind to everyone but I don't want to be a martyr.
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