I have been dating a widower for a year and a half. He was widowed for 2 years before we met and had begun dating. (Told his children first) I have been divorced and have a child the same age. Yes, his home is still filled with the things of his late wife but I don't mind, they are his things too and I like that he loved her so much. I know how much he cares about me so theres no need to be jealous. He also mentions memories of her occasionally but not in a way that suggests he is comparing us. We both have good careers, own our own homes and good lives. We are a long term committed couple. He is very family oriented. His sister, mother (92!), 26 year old daughter and 25 year old son live 9 hours away. This is where the problem arises. He goes up to see them 5 or 6 times a year. Everyone has been very accepting of me (even the late wife's family) except the daughter. From the first time we met she tried very hard to pretend that I didn't exist. When she couldn't she was polite but cool. To make a long story short, he has asked me to go to all the family gatherings since meeting them after dating for nine months. I felt funny about it but he wants it so much and has a tough time making the drive alone. Well, at the last event, I was terribly behaved and had a semi-public fight with him (due to trying to hard to be perfect when I was sick, exhausted and had fallen down a flight of stairs the day before.) We drove home and worked things out. Now we have just got back from another trip to see them. I apologized to his sister. She was very sweet. I tried to apologize to the daughter but she wouldn't acknowledge my existence the whole day. I feel terrible and I don't know what to do. I want to be sensitive to everyone's pain but I'm human too. I have fibromyalgia and arthritis and these trips are difficult for me to begin with. I don't mind because I love him and he is good and decent. BUT, I don't know how to handle the issue with the daughter. I was so uncomfortable and all I wanted to do was cry. Can anyone advise me? I want to be fair and kind to everyone but I don't want to be a martyr.
Posts You May Be Interested In
I have been on here less and less. Lord knows I am trying hard to create another good life for myself. Some of what I am doing is out of necessity. For example, I came back from my vacation with a much emptier purse, so I am working on a budget plan. It may be a little flexible, but when you find yourself broke two days before the next check, you don't want those bouncies from the bank. I...
Have any of you moved on with someone else and started a new journey?Was there were time you felt comfortable to put away pictures of your late spouse in consideration of the other person? Does the other person should understand if you don’t want to put away your past life?