Reconciling the mind with the status of being single, alone most of the time and in a family home, is a struggle that I find most difficult. I think all of us do, but am I finding it harder? I met my love when I was 18; married when I had turned just 20 and had our first child at 21. We were inseparable, we loved doing everything together, we were a perfect team and a beautiful couple with a marriage made in heaven. I am gradually understanding grief as work to be accomplished, as courageously facing the reality of mortality and death. Acceptance is a big part of reconciling things mentally and physically. The body misses the warmth and physical touch of my beloved; my ears miss her voice; my eyes miss her beauty; my nose misses her smell; and my heaart misses her heart. But I have to and must accept it, otherwise I become a useless mess to anyone. Yes I cry still (she died 1 June this year), yes I still sob and yearn each day and mourn for what I have lost. But there is a new day and a new beginning I have to face. I listened to the file of the funeral service last week (it was recommended in Getting to the Other Side of Grief) and that was tough, but I now feel I have made another step in overcoming the grief. How does this compare to others' experiences?
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As some of you know I moved to a new city 2 months ago where I only know my dgt and her fiance. I left a place I had many friends and family. As I attempt to adjust to the move I feel stuck. I kind of know the steps I must take to rebuild but my energy for tackling it has been lacking. The last time I felt like this was after I lost my wife. At that time I spent stuck for 2 years...