My husband suffered from pulmonary fibrosis for about 4 years, had a lung transplant at the Mayo Clinic in July of 2005. The surgery went great, but he had so many setbacks, fluid, hallucitions, lymphedema,etc. He finally gave up the fight 8 months of valiant effort to overcome so many complications (without complaining.) During those 4 years, he depended on me for alot--making appointments, listening to the doctors, keeping track of meds, and just keeping his spirits up. I was also working 2 jobs at the time. I made a real effort to keep up a cheerful attitude during all this time. I thought people didn't want to hear the real deal, so I always said everything was just great, with a huge smile. After he died, and my caregiving ended, I crashed completely. I think I didn't cry for 4 years, and after he died, I couldn't stop crying. I think my husband was a strong life force, because it still stuns me when I think that he is really gone. We have 36 years of memories, but they still cut me like a knife. I wish they would start warming my heart, instead of reminding me of my loss. Any other former caregivers out there? I'd love to hear from you.
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