So I get my spices delivered today - a UPS driver who looks familiar, but isn't my normal one. We're back in the kitchen, and I'm signing for it, and he says, how's Joe? I looked at him, and I said, what? How's Joe? (At this point I'm like one of those comic book characters, with the giant question mark over their head). I said - Joe died three years ago. The normal reaction of shock - but this sweet guy put his hand on my arm and said, "I didn't know. I'm so sorry. Joe and I got to know each other pretty well when I was delivering water years back. He was such a nice guy. I'm sorry to bring up your pain." It was appreciated. Everyone's talking around me this week - I'm getting the "how are you doing? Are you ok?" - and yes, I know they care, but I'm also getting the deer in the headlights thing like I'm gonna let loose and really tell them, lol. Actually, I did do that today. I'm sitting with 2 friends, and J says, you know, you should...I said, if you ever preface a statement with "I should", I'm gonna have to hurt you. I think he was a little taken aback, but whatever. His wife, L, a good friend, said, he does this all the time, even with me. Ignore him. At that point, he said, Marsha, I should - shut up. I just want (after all this angst) to say one thing - MY HUSBAND. JOE. MY HUSBAND, JOE!!! I want to say these words here, where you know what I'm talking about. It's 3 years tomorrow. I'm sad and my heart hurts.
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