One day past tax day, I find the extension to be a God send as the senior center is closed where I get my taxes done for free. I'm liking the advantages of the old age...ha ha...in my head I sure as heck dont feel the numbers are at all right...however in my body, well that's a whole nother story!! ugh
In keeping with wanting to create a routine for my physical and mental health. Let me say I've been a lump for nearly 3 months, not getting dressed, going to bed anywhere from 1-2 and some time 3 am on my computer. I'm addicted to my computer, games, research, reading or watching utube Ted Talks which there are a multitude of subjects or watching movies.
The consequence is a messy dirty house, unwashed dishes, unwashed laundy, not following my kidney diet(I only have one kidney) and so many other "it's, to do's" that I'm physically capable of doing, beat myself to a pulp for not doing, wondering what is wrong with me because I'm allowing myself to go to the depths of nothingness and numbness.
I've been seeing a therapist once a week for an hour. She is an amazing woman 'who gets me' and I've not seen her in a while. However the company has set up a program where the therapist and I can have phone therapy for an hour...What A Blessing this is as I've been talking to a "new" therapist who is kicking my butt into gear. She's been telling me I need to start 'somewhere' that I won't be overwhelmed, become anxious, or have unrealisting expectations.
I Finally got my kitchen cleaned, this was the first task I started, this took three days to have clean sink, counters, ref, floor...still remaining is a big bag containing papers, mail etc that need to be dealt with...I have a Really Hard Time dealing with papers. In addition I stopped going to my mail box or went out at night cause I stayed in my pj's all day. The only thing I've done consistantly is to take my meds, feed my cat and clean out her litter box. So I've a Long Way to go to get back to a clean house, routine, just functioning and not beating myself up if I don't do what I 'want to do'.
For the last week I finished the cream for my coffee, then yesterday I finished the powder creamer...this "made" me decide I had to face grocery shopping which I'd not done for 3 weeks. In most stores there are senior hours for shopping...way too early for me. Today, the second day, I got dressed and was out the door by 8:45, the store opens at 9am. I knew what I needed and was done in an hour and 159.00 depleted from my bank account. One purchase :( or my mouth :) was a package of two slices of caramel cheese pie with chocolate chips on the top...my gift to me which is Way Off my diet but oh so good! I now have grocery, foods, frozen fruits for a month.
Yesterday I continued cleaning my kitchen, did two loads of laundry (including sheets on my bed)and got a load of dried cloths that had been sitting in the dryer for 3 weeks. Today I will iron, fold and put away all the clothing and etc things.
I'm pleased with myself, for getting these two things done in addition to getting dressed and getting out of the house!! I also talked with my neighbor to help me with my yard...there is So Much To Do, it's overwhelming and I can't do alot physically, greatful he said Yes, hard work, actually any type of work is so much easier with two! For the rest of the day 'no more' I'm pooped out.