Victims of Psychopaths Community Group

Is he or she a sociopath or psychopath? Think we're only talking about serial killers here? Psychopaths, sociopaths and even narcissists come in every walk of life, every career level, and every socio-economic category.

1 Online
1 Online

Can a sociopath "know" crying? but not f

I asked my exS when was last time he cried, he answered looking kinda sad " he doesnt want to cry. He didnt give any answer why when I asked. And I didnt get answer on my question as he answered with a statement.

I am asking because it makes me wonder how to interpret that answer. Does a S say he doesnt want to cry because he actually has never cried and doesnt know how else to answer?

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

I lived with my exS for over ten years. You want to know when he cried? When we were at the marriage counselor. He made her hate me. He never cried with me and only turned it on to make the counselor think I was the evil one. Crying is a tool they use. And yes, he was diverting a direct answer to your question - they are masters at this technique. My daughter (luckily, a non-S), told me that her father even taught her how diversion techniques. Infuriating! She's only 8 years old.
AspInTheBrush
AspInTheBrush

They cry alright, but never for anyone else, unless of course they were important to their plans, or they're simply not ready to part with that particular toy yet...
AspInTheBrush
AspInTheBrush

Oh, and the sadness is brief. No sociopath has ever been depressed for more than a week, and that's actually a sensitive one.
positivagirl
positivagirl

Lol no. Why are you still talking to him?

He is saying that cos he is manipulative. They love to play victim, and pull on your heart strings. Dont go feeling sorry for him...

Can you see what he is doing... he is trying to lure you in.... you really should go NO CONTACT

Some people can do contact - I could - but - well all i had been through made me pretty emotionally numb and not caring really. And I matched him - as I could. But I never believed a word that came out his lying mouth.

Yeah they can cry they can turn on the tears at will. I had mine boo hooing for months cos his daughters mother was dying of cancer, and how absolutely devastated he was. Wow he was so devastated - his daughter was going to be without a mother. Tears rolled down his face. He kept this up for MONTHS They are great actors....

Have to laugh really :) Oh.... it was all a lie. HIs daughters mother wasn't dying of cancer. She wasn't in hospital. She was at home, alive and well, doing her thing.
AspInTheBrush
AspInTheBrush

Either that or I'm really thinking of sociopath-like disorders...
deleted_user
deleted_user

Thanks all of you,for info that they can really cry and even with tears rolling...I thought that was difficult for them, but yes probably easy when its all about them and keeping their supply.

I am really sorry to hear he learns your daughter these techniques, sward :(

And what your xS lied about positiva, thats just insane! :(

I am sorry I wasnt clear...I am not talking to him...this was many months ago...I asked my xS this because I wanted to try get a clue if he was emotionally healthy...as if he had cried before it would tell me he has empathy. But I see now that wouldnt have helped me getting any answer as I now know they can cry and really act. But him diverting the answer may was a sign.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Crocodile tears or feigned tears or at best...TRYING to be REAL...that's a stretch for someone who on the empathy scale ranks...ZERO. Sad but absolutely completely true. I believe they want to truly care but it is such a foreign concept that in reality it comes out fake and feigned to the keen eye and heart. Yet sometimes we are sucked into their paradigm because we DO TRULY FEEL! I don't know whether it is cruelty on their part or an absense of understanding real emotions that causes this obvious lack of empathy.
deleted_user
deleted_user

But yes I believe its funny when looking back at many of the insane lies :)
deleted_user
deleted_user

I didnt know if they could cry real tears and not just crocodile tears...lol
deleted_user
deleted_user

yes crocodile tears at best...Inomoore, I thought crocodile tears was all they could manage to get out...

Its easy be sucked in when seeing their fake sadness, like you say, we feel it and they know it! who with a good heart can not feel sorry for someone crying? I read somewhere thats what they are thinking.

I wonder too if they really think they are crying, but most likely they know they fake it. I guess.
deleted_user
deleted_user

not only they think so, they know so that we who feel and have compassion cannot stand seeing someone cry and specially not someone we love
deleted_user
deleted_user

Forgotten... you wrote "I wonder too if they really think they are crying, but most likely they know they fake it. I guess."

I believe there is much truth to this. Understanding that the emotions they convey were ones they PRACTISED in a mirror, that they WITNESSED as opposed to FELT for themselves... makes perfect sense to me that it is all feigned and not truly true. They knew nothing but what they perceived through a very skewed lens of anothers' pain...hence they personally cannot experience the actual pain of a given situation. They seperate from pain to survive.

Plus add that they are manipulating a response from you because they feel their edge with you slipping away. Plus also tag on that they so ultimately underneath it all...LONG for TRUE connection with another human being yet lack the means to construct that bond so they feign a bond that they believe "Might" work to sedate you into submission and control the outcome. Equal to you loving them dispite their obvious deficits in human caring and character.

Sorry long answer but I believe they do this for a myriad of reasons...some known and others completely beyond my understanding. Hope that helps a bit.

Glad to hear your continuing NC as difficult as I know that can be sometimes.
Sunny256
Sunny256

Mine cryed in front of me ones, he really had tears rolling.....it was when he made me so crazy that I wanted to break up, so it was pretty manipulative....also he was telling me how his parents didn´t let him cry when he was a kid.....don´t know if that´s true...
deleted_user
deleted_user

I am glad to read you answer, nomoore, its interesting and makes much sense about how they mirror us and thats the closest they come to try make it look like they feel something for a given situation. But its sad I think that they deep inside long for true connection but arent able to form one so they have to act. Its not sorry for them how they lie and manipulate and use others and try hide their flaw in their character, but it sad they cant help it in some way..because I wonder.. if they really long for this connection wouldnt that mean that intellectually have some form of emotional intelligence? that seems against the odd, I know, as they harm people with purpose...so why long for the connection? is it that they dont really want to harm people but they have so much problems stopping themselves because they lack the emotions?
deleted_user
deleted_user

I think they make up many fake stories to make us feel sorry for them, he probably told you that because he knew he was about to lose you...because why havent he ever said that before, but only when he was about to lose you. Its true we can never know what is true thought, but most likely it was manipulation to make you pity him and make you stay.