I'm going through a dilemma and am hoping someone can help me. I am with a man that is pursuing a military career. He loves what he does and feels that is what he is meant to do. I, being that i love him, support him 210%. Now im gonna explain my dilemma but i wanted to first point out that anyone giving me advice ect.. dont hesitate to tell me exactly what you think. please dont sugar coat it i need some serious input on this matter.. Here i go, well we have had little arguments regarding miltiary relationships not working out. Hes refferring to the ones of those in which the husband is a die hard soldier that never wants to stop. So we get in little quarrels about whether or not a relationship can make it. Yes, i do know it is hard. I will not deny that in the slightest. But i dont think its a fantasy thinking our relationship will last. He feels you cant have both. you have to pick one or the other. Only he says he loves me to much and is to stubborn to let me go. And says hes staying with me until i cant handle it anymore and i leave. I say it can be compromised. I think he could make both work if he made compromises in certain areas. for example, they want him to deploy to Afghan right after christmas. So he basically has three options, (1) he could go and get a 72hr pass which would be a 18hr filght being here about a day and a 18 hr flight back. (2) he could delay the tour and go later than everybody else. or (3) not go to afghanistan at all. Well he says it makes no sense in taking a 72 hr pass when he will be exhausted. Which i agree that would be pointless. He doesn't want to delay the deployment because then he would be behind when he gets over and have to catch up with everyone else. And option 3 of not going at all is just not an option for him personally. So i would like to share what i told him and see if it sounds selfish on my part. i told him a compromise would be doing the delayed afghan deployment than he would get to see me and do his tour. Is that selfish of me to say that? i honestly feel that is a compromise. He just kept saying that he will be behind everyone and he doesnt want his leadership position to be filled. So he has 9 or so days to make a decision of what hes going to do. He asked a friend of his that is older and has been doing it a long time the die hard soldier thing and his advice was "you will want to keep deploying. it is what you love to do. if you love her let her go." and my fiance said i cant let her go i love her to much and i'm to damn stubborn. And he said "well than do what you gotta do and count the days that she stays with you." So back to the point of this thread. Is the military relationship i am in one that can last? Is it impossible and pointless to pursue? Has anyone in this situation made it? Thank you in advance for your replies..
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