I contemplate this issue every day. How does one break the cycle of abuse once one knows that it has begun? Why does it always begin the same way? I understand exactly what you girls mean. But its very dangerous once you enter into a relationship and your partner starts becoming verbally abusive. My first partner was one of those who escalated in intensity. First he makes you abandon your friends and family. He makes you feel that he is the only one who loves you, and honestly if you have low self esteem and family issues already he knows this to be true. Its like they search for these attributes in women. Women who have had a rough past. So then he starts telling you how everyone else abandoned you and hates you, and once you fall in love with him he has you hooked. He starts treating you any which way he wants because he knows you are hopeless, alone, dependent. Then he starts using every thing that you told him against you. He calls you names. Tells you that you are ugly and no man would every want you and that you NEED HIM. That you deserved the abuse you received from your family because you are a weak person, that if you stood up it would have never happened. But you are weak and will forever be so , and need him. You start to believe these things after being told it numerous times. Then it just escalates and escalates. He starts abusing you, sexually, physically, and how could you even say no to your boyfriend you think, he is your boyfriend, you must always want him. If not then you must be messing with someone else. You get called names like "slut, hoe,bitch," and you still stay wanting to prove to him that you are faithful and are not these things. That you love him and would do anything for him. How does one cope with this escalation of anger, daily abuse? Every one says just to leave but its easier said then done especially if you become dependent on this man, especially if you consider him your savior of sorts. What to do? Leave the only person you know to love you with the HOPE that you will find someone else. Thats a risky task, very difficult indeed. Something deep inside says that you deserve better, but part of you believes him that he is the best you will ever get, that he settled for you and you should be content with what you get. How do you cope my fellow sisters? Its like a band aid you just have to rip off and let go. Find support in friends, find support here on this site, whatever you have to do, but know that you are not alone, and GOD wants you to find happiness. So you just have to step out on your own, and when the time is right for you, you will know. NO one can tell you. You will just know that you either leave and find freedom or stay in the relationship and die. So one day you just pack up and leave. It may be that you start talking to another man that seems to heal this void, it may be that you have children and realize that you dont want to bring them into this world, this cycle, whatever may happen. It will happen and you will step out renewed and refreshed. And you must know never to allow this cycle to repeat, never to get into another relationship with a man who seems even remotely like the first but it seems that this is all you attract. How do you break the cycle? You must make a commitment NEVER to settle because you are a marvelous creation of GOD and deserving of all the best in life. Its hard to step out, but its so rewarding in the end...To break the cycle of abusive relationships with men. I am still learning, falling and stumbling ll the way. But getting back up just the same. I know its hard, its a battle for me every day. And I know one day it will get easier.