im going to be admitted to a mental hospital monday morning and i have 2 and a half year old son and im terrified of how he is going to react. this will be the fourth time ive been in the hospital, only one of those times since he was born, but he was much younger then. i dont know how to explain to my baby that mommys going to be gone for a little while. i just keep having guilty thoughts of him crying for me in the middle of the night and i wont be there. or him thinking that i abandoned him. i can talk to him on the phone while im there but he wont be allowed to visit and its breaking my heart. that child is my life and i know that this is going to scare and confuse him and i cant stand the thought of him hurting like that because of me. i know i have to go because its better that he have a happy healthy mother than one who is a wreck all the time but i know that while im gone he will be extremely hurt and even though i know that my bipolar isnt my fault i cant help but feel guilty. somebody please help me with this. i cant stop crying just thinking about it.
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