I am SO FUCKING TIRED OF HAVING BP! For just one fucking day I would like to know what it is like to not have to be depressed, or be manic, or be so fucking agitated that I want to go and start cutting again, or if I am stable, not have to fucking worry about the next time that I am going to be depressed or manic or agitated.....FUCK IT ALL!!!!! I WANT TO BE NORMAL! I WANT PEOPLE TO UNDERSTAND ME! I AM TIRED OF BEING ALONE! I am FUCKING tired of taking medication that has so many side effects that I'm either a zombie or I get migraines or whatever....sometimes I'm so FUCKING tired of it I wish I was never born....I wish I could just go to sleep tonite and not wake up...EVER! FUCK FUCK FUCK I'm so agitated right now I want to cut so bad....my blades were the only thing that ever took the pain away and now that I don't have them, all that is left is an empty feeling inside that longs to be filled...I HATE IT! I DONT WANT TO BE BP ANYMORE! SOMEONE TAKE MY ILLNESS AWAY!!!
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