I was so scared this cycle. One year ago, in early September 2011, was when I conceived my first child, Anna. She was stillborn at 26 weeks in February 2012. This month, September 2012, I was pregnant again. It is ending right now. It is a very early miscarriage. Aunt flo is only about 5 days late, so there wasn't much time to get too attached, but it has been terrifying. At first I thought I was so emotional because it's my second chemical since Anna, but now I realize I was so scared because this would have been on the exact same timeline as Anna - almost the same due date. I guess that was just too much to handle. As desparate as I am to have a baby (I turn 40 in November), it is actually becoming quite a relief to not be on that same timeline. Is that weird? I am actually feeling better now that this one is ending and if it happens this next cycle, I will be on a different schedule than my stillbirth. I've gone like 180 degrees opposite in emotion in the last week... I am suddenly feeling relieved. Am I crazy?
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