Hello to all you ladies out there who are having similar thoughts and feelings as I am. I feel some kind of consolation even by just reading your comments and posts. Therefore I decided to take the courage and post something of my own..
I have been with my husband for 9 years now. He's the light of my life. Everything I ever wanted. When we first got married ,and the couple of years that followed,everyone around us started bombarding us with questions about when we'd have a baby and why we haven't yet etc etc.. I remember how frustrated I'd get and how the nerve of these people got to me. Truth is I wasn't ready to have a baby yet. I was in my early 30s I was with this wonderful guy and all I wanted to do was enjoy my life just being with him. The last thing on my mind was having a kid.
My husband on the other hand had a different opinion. Nevertheless he waited patiently until I was ready and we started trying. That was four and a half years ago..
Four and a half years ago I said to myself it's now or never. You'll never be completely ready to have a child so just take the plunge! So I did. The months passed nothing happened. Then a year, then another and another and another and then this last one. Oh this last one. One unsuccessful IUI , five rounds of Clomid, and recently an unsuccessful IVF.
We belong to the unexplained infertility category.
There's one thing I guess that can be explained. I can't get pregnant because I took my sweet little time as I always do when it comes to taking important decisions. I thought it would be so easy to conceive. Little did I know that it would be so difficult and excruciatingly painful. I'm 39 now..I'm not too young but not too old either. Science has come a long way I know and even if this can't happen naturally we could try IVF again although at the moment I feel like I never want to do that to myself again .Do I sound selfish? Am I really paying for the consequences of my past choices? I don't know what to say.. I'm disappointed but at the same time there is still some hope inside of me that one day I can manage to become a mother and give my wonderful husband the chance to be a father.
My husband and I are moving out of state very soon to find a new place to stay. Because it's out of state, we will be going there and then search for a rental. During that time, we will be sleeping in the car with all our belongings. We've done this in the past so it's nothing new, but it's never comforting to know that we'd be sleeping in the car for a few weeks (we slept in the car for 2 months...
day 2-this is so hard waiting!!!!!Only my 4th time around and I hate this two weeks where I can’t tell anyone or tell for myself if it worked. Please send prayers!