I think you are a lucky lady to have a husband like him....and he's a lucky man, too!

This is so sweet. My husband does tell me to stop and it does aggravate me. And I wish he would wash my hair for me. He's not the type to even think of such. You are very blessed. You two sound like you have a very loving relationship. Good luck and God bless you two.

Thank you for those posts:) I think I ended up with the right man because I was honest with him from the start....I was hoping we could post some suggestions for people who are dating as well as for people who are in marriages and have not told their husbands about their trich. Anyone have some input?

ive been with the same person for the last two years, but when i was in the 'dating pool' i usually didnt say anything until i was asked. usually a guy would notice that i would wear a head band everytime he saw me and would ask, or sometimes with the right angle he could see that i didnt actually have any top eyelashes (i wear dark eyeliner)...

even now, when people are comfortable with me to ask me in a serious manner, i tell them the truth. i'll never forget when i told a lady at work who gave me a wide eyed look and explained how she had pulled her eyelashes out for nearly her entire life. i gave her a closer look, and sure enough, there where sparse patches (she obviously controlled it better than i did at the time..) it really helped me not feel so alone in the world...

i am in a relationship at the moment, and have been for about 4yrs. it took me a good year or two to tell her what my problem was and i was nerbous as hell. I was so scared that she would run away because of this compulsion I couldn't help. But she didn't. She's right by my side and gets on my case about changing my patterns so that i don't continue my life this way. I have to agree that i find it really annoying when she tells me not to, although I have become so good at hiding it that I can be sitting next to her on the sofa watching tv, pulling my hair out, and she doesn't even know! But she encourages me to go to a hairdresser (something i hadn't done in all the yrs I've had trich) and for me that was a huge step. Going to a professional who knows what they're doing is a scary thing when you have trich. But She found me the most amazing man, and now I've been tweice. Each time i hate it and basically want to bolt before i get in the door. But my girl gets her hair done at the same time, we have a glass of wine with the hairdresser, and i walk out feeling like a million dollars :) Ok, its a rather short cut, but its better to have some form of confidence than the none that i had before.
You guys rock! x

I so agree with you on sharing with the one you love. If they truly love you for who you are, they will not reject you b/c of trich. My husband is the same... loving and caring and he does not badger me with nagging. If he did, I would soon lock part of me away, knowing I couldn't trust him with the weakest part of me.
A word of advice: if your spouce/sig. other tends to be sarcastic, belittling, controlling or abusive, don't share. Only share if you have a solid foundation and feel confident of their support and love for you.
It's my prayer that all of us will have at least one face-to-face person that we can tell.

I told my husband within the 2nd week we were dating. I knew that I did not want to spend time dating, putting on an act, and feeling like I was 'hiding' something. I had a very difficult time getting the words to come out...mostly because it was terrifying to hear myself admit my problem out loud. I knew if he did not accept me then I couldn't be with him long-term. I shared my struggles to become PF, my ups and downs, etc. He was very supportive and has always been there for me when I need to tell him how frustrated I am because I pulled...or can't fix my hair nicely...etc. I LOVE that he knows and still loves me- THAT is an incredible feeling because I always figured nobody would see past it.

Anyways, I also agree with the other poster to not tell an SO who is sarcastic, belittling/abusive. It depends on your situation. For me, telling my husband was a very big relief and created more intimacy in our relationship. We are tighter because of it. Good luck everyone!

I am glad to read what everyone is sharing and would like to emphasize what mnmjenn said. Please only share with your spouse/loved one if they are healthy. We don't need to burden ourselves with someone else's inability to cope.

you know, I just thought why couldn't this discussion include telling loved ones....why would telling your spouse be any different from telling your parents, partner, etc???? Be safe out there and I pray that you all are able to share in a positive, helpful atmosphere.....

I went for years not telling my husband. He did not have a clue. I did a great job of covering it up. Beside being a dis-ease of Isolation It is a dis-ease of SHAME. I finally hit an emotional bottom and told him. It took feeling so down & desperate that I opened up to him. I was reaching out for help. I admitted I could not do this all alone. He was fantastic!!!! To him it was not big deal. I was being too hard on myself. It was only hair! He said, "what makes it bad is putting yourself down & beating yourself up". I was a professional dancer at the time and he said most people would wish they were you. I still beat myself up & am a perfectionist. He has made a JOKE of it, He said: "so if you pulled out all your hair you could go punk & put a ring thru your nose than go to the Mall & if a punk guy hit on you and complimented you on your bald head you could tell him "Thank you, I did it myself". It is fa lot funnier when my husband says it! It always makes me laugh, and it is a reminder to me to "Lighten Up". He will remind me to be kind and gentle with myself. (For the record I am NOT bald although right now I do have some bald spots & hair thinning ) Keep the Faith!!! GOD Bless!!!

i think its great that your husband is so supportive of you. I think being honest like you have been and telling someone about the situation from the start of the relationship is the way to go on this. My boyfriend knows i do it and he only hits me when he gets too annoyed by me pulling my hair. It would have been alot worse if I hadnt told him about it. I think honesty in all things is the way to go and that includes telling partners about trich and how you are working on it. big hugs to you.

I've known my boyfriend as a friend for 4 years. We started dating 4 months ago. He is one of my closet friends, but I am still so petrified of telling him (though I really want to) or anyone else! He's younger than me- he is 20 I am 24- and I am afriad he will leave me for a girl more his age, with no scars on her body, but most of all someone who has long, beautiful hair.

Petite Trichster I know this sounds like a recurring theme, but I need to re-emphasize this: If he doesn't accept you with this, then why would you want to waste your time with him? It IS terrifying to tell him. I just told the guy that I have been dating for a few weeks about it and it turned out wonderfully (you can check it out in my journal if you want). I basically said to him, look, this isn't something that defines me, but it is something I struggle with and it's part of my daily life. And if you're going to be part of my daily life then I think you should know about it. I personally think it's better to know that they are OK with it than it is to worry about it all the time. Good luck and please feel free to send me a message if you'd like.

Hey my husband knows about my hair pulling that I did. I don't think he relizes how common it is though! I know that he hates what I have done to my hair! He made a comment a while ago that he used to "love my hair". And when I purposely did that to myself one day because I was upset, he told me that day that " He didn't want to have a bald wife". I still feel real bad that I did that to myself. But like I told him and told my mom, "I couldn't stop". I am truly sorry that I chose to handle my hurt feelings and anger I had at that time that way! My hair however is in the process of growing back! I am still mostly bald on the top of my head though. I have a lot of peachfuss hairs on the very top of my head that are growing in rapidly! And now that I don't shave my head compeletly bald to prevent me from pulling, most of my hair is long and in the middle of my back now! I should be very proud of my progress!

You are so lucky to have a understanding hubby..at the moment..my relationship is at a halt but going on as usual. My hub states he's had enough of my Trich. and sleeps in basement. I'm so glad he loves you for who you are..Mine doesn't anymore.