Trichotillomania (Hair Pulling) Support Group
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Hello everyone.
I am fairly confident that my girlfriend is struggling with Trich.
She is in her early 20's and has some fairly large bald patches on the crown and the back of her head behind the right ear (i.e. NOT the left - she is righthanded). A few of these patches have sores in them that she picks at. She tries to hide these by placing longer hair from further forward on her heard back over the spots on the crown.
As a man who is balding (naturally) I know all the things I used to do when I was nervous that people might be noticing my bald spot. (i shaved my head cuz I was sick of worrying about it.) She exhibits all the same traits.
Wants to have her back to the wall so no one is behind her. Always making sure the hairs are in place. Wants me to go down steps first so that I am not looking down on the top of her head.
She is also extremely hypersensitive. I could say the "look green grass" and I would probably get a response of "Well I didn't make it green!"
To the point - I am looking for advice on how to talk with her about it.
I don't care about her having hair or not. (I am after all bald)
What I care about is that she knows that I want to help and that she doesn't have to go hide anything from me. She doesn't have to change who she is if she doesn't want to. She should be as proud of who she is as I am of her.
Any and all advice on what to say or not to say would be appreciated.
I am fairly confident that my girlfriend is struggling with Trich.
She is in her early 20's and has some fairly large bald patches on the crown and the back of her head behind the right ear (i.e. NOT the left - she is righthanded). A few of these patches have sores in them that she picks at. She tries to hide these by placing longer hair from further forward on her heard back over the spots on the crown.
As a man who is balding (naturally) I know all the things I used to do when I was nervous that people might be noticing my bald spot. (i shaved my head cuz I was sick of worrying about it.) She exhibits all the same traits.
Wants to have her back to the wall so no one is behind her. Always making sure the hairs are in place. Wants me to go down steps first so that I am not looking down on the top of her head.
She is also extremely hypersensitive. I could say the "look green grass" and I would probably get a response of "Well I didn't make it green!"
To the point - I am looking for advice on how to talk with her about it.
I don't care about her having hair or not. (I am after all bald)
What I care about is that she knows that I want to help and that she doesn't have to go hide anything from me. She doesn't have to change who she is if she doesn't want to. She should be as proud of who she is as I am of her.
Any and all advice on what to say or not to say would be appreciated.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
I would be horrified if my boyfriend wanted to talk to me about it. I would be really embarrassed.
But then after the initial awkward acknowledgment of it, it might be helpful, i guess i could concede.
Still, as your Gf sounds very sensitive, take it slow. You don't suffer from this - how can you understand, really. Even if you are bald, thats COMPLETELY different.
On the face of it I think "how easy it must be to just NOT do something - any normal person could."
The issue that is my biggest hurdle is not the bald patches, if I was naturally balding, then thats an acceptable reason for bald patches, if I had to have brain surgery and shave my head, then thats an acceptable reason, if I was born without hair in some patches because of some medical reason, well thats an acceptable reason. I could tell people this and they would go "oh, ok"
The thing i hide from is not the bald patches per se, i hide from the cause of them, my inability to control my own actions. It simply is not acceptable to myself (and society) to be unable to NOT do something.
To acknowledge a problem is the first step to overcoming it. Your Gf talking with you may help her.